I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
