new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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