Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
