You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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