Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
