My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
