I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
