sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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