we're blogging at a bar
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
