Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
