I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
