Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
