thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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