I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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