Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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