I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
