After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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