It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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