I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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