I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize