If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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