thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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