i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
