His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
