yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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