so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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