Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
