party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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