Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
