Joe is yelling at the trees again.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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