if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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