I got chris browned last night
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
