I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
