Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
