Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Drake has all the answers
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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