He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Dick very happy bro
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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