but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
