he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
