He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
