DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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