Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Too much gin, very little bucket
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
