"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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