did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
