if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
