this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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