She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
