I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
