do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
