just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
