I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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