i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
